Step Nine

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

    Let me start by saying this: It is extremely important to work Step Nine with the help of your sponsor and support of your Twelve Step community. 

    In Step Nine, you make direct amends to those you’ve hurt. If making those amends would hurt the person further, or if making amends is no longer possible due to death or geography, an indirect amends is made. 

    While Step Nine can be the scariest and most challenging step in the Twelve Steps, it can also be the most rewarding.

    When you mend a long standing wrong, you don’t feel relief. You feel pure joy. It’s redemption. It’s restoration. While looking that person in the face might be tough, the result can be wonderful.

The reason why addicts and non-addicts must mend their wrongs is to finally lift the burdens from their own souls. It’s to finally put down the weights that have been carried for years. 

    If making a directs amends would hurt the other, or if it’s not possible to make one, an indirect amends could be something like donating money to a cause they support, volunteering with an organization that would help people like them, or praying for others like them. Your sponsor would be instrumental in helping brainstorm ways that would be done. 

    So why are taking actions to make amends so important? Why not just ask God for forgiveness and leave it at that? Because you made choices and took action to cause hurt. So taking responsibility for that is making a choice and taking action to make it right. 

    Are there people in your life that you’ve hurt in the past? Are the behaviors that caused that hurt still ongoing? Are you ready to seek hope, healing, recovery, and health from sex addiction or porn addiction? I’d love to help you with that! Check out my website to set up a time for us to talk!