“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”
Sexaholics Anonymous literature states,
“How fortunate we are, then, to be so needy that we have to find what our lust was really looking for - the loving God who is our refuge and our strength.”
This quote reminds me of what someone told me once. They said that they believed that God made them an addict on purpose, because otherwise they would have never learned that they needed to depend on Him.
This is something said by a person who has truly surrendered, worked their Steps, and come to rely on a power greater than themselves.
Fighting against sex addiction or porn addiction (or if you're a non-addict who struggles with hang ups of their own) does not mean that you don’t believe in God. It does not mean that you don’t love God. It does not mean that you don’t have a relationship with God. Being an addict does not mean that you don’t pray to God. Being an addict can mean that you are not unified with God. Most addicts (and non-addicts) have an incorrect understanding of God. They base what they know of Him on their relationships with parents or other attachment figures, or on circumstances. God has become an angry tyrant or a genie.
If God is an angry tyrant or a genie, you must be good. If not, the angry tyrant will strike you down or you will not earn the genie’s favor (and his wish granting abilities). But, what if God was neither of those things?
Instead, what if God were a loving, merciful, graceful, generous Father who is for us?
And what if He was ready to begin a different kind of relationship with you? Step Eleven is about engaging in that relationship every day. Deepening it. Continuing to give yourself (surrender) to that which gives you life!
Perhaps, as you read this, you are not ready to believe in or surrender to God. Perhaps you have past trauma centered in His church or His followers. Perhaps knowing Step Eleven might stop you from starting Step One. I have had clients whose “higher power” is their Twelve Step fellowship. Your higher power is something bigger than you to which you can give your life.
I believe there is one true God. I believe He is love and He loves you. But you may not. You don’t have to to start your journey to recovery and hope. Are you ready to start? If so, and you live in the middle Tennessee area, check out my website to see how to set up an appointment for us to talk!