Let’s be honest here; dependance on the self (whether it was taught or forced upon for survival) is what landed the addict where they are. It’s the thinking that says, “If my needs are to be met, I’m the only one I can trust to meet them.” It’s very isolating. The best antidote for isolation is community. It’s communing with others and communing with God.
There are two types of changes that happen in a person’s life. The first type of change, which we’ll call “first order change”, involves the changing of one’s behavior. The second type of change, which we’ll call “second order change”, also results in the changing of behaviors. The difference between the two is what motivates the change. First order change is motivated by a desire to avoid the consequences of one’s actions. So the person changes what they do so the they don’t have to pay the price for it. Second order change is motivated by a shift in a person’s heart that causes them to change who they are. And if you change who you are, what you do will follow. Changing behaviors to avoid getting caught lasts only as long as the threat of being found out. But a change in a person’s heart is the fertile soil that can grow a mighty redwood that can last a lifetime.